Justice Page 65
Five minutes later she heard tapping on the glass slider and walked into the living room. Justice had put on jeans and a tank top. He silently stood on the other side of the glass and pointed to the lock. She shook her head and turned off the living room lights, not willing to discuss it anymore. She entered her bedroom.
’’Jessie?’’ He was outside her bedroom window. ’’Let me in.’’
’’I\m calling security again if you don\ leave. Go away!’’ She pulled the curtains closed and turned off the lights.
He cursed but it grew silent. She waited a long time but he didn\ try to get her attention. She climbed into bed, tugged her underwear from her pocket and tossed them toward the floor. Tears filled her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She\d fallen in love with a man who would never allow himself to love her back. His job and people came first and always would. It really hurt.
Justice punched the wall and snarled. His knuckles split from the force as they drove through plaster. Jessie was hurting, she refused to speak to him and he had no one to blame but himself. He\d spoken without thought, mentioned the original plans he\d had and screwed up by answering her questions.
He yanked his fist back, studied the blood and pressed his other hand over it. The torn skin burned, ached and he relished the pain. He deserved it and so much more.
The memory of his Jessie\s pain had been so clear in her eyes that it haunted him. The urge to go to her, to hold her in his arms, became a physical need.
’’Damn,’’ he rasped as he turned and leaned against the damaged wall of his home office.
It\s for the best , the logical side of him reasoned. The other side of him protested loudly when his body tensed, the urge to roar gripped him and he had to take deep breaths through his nose until it passed. Jessie was stubborn. She wouldn\ see him again unless he made their relationship public knowledge and she\d made valid points when she\d yelled at him.
He battled the desire to storm out of his house, leap the wall and tear through the slider to reach his Jessie. He\d do it if he believed he could seduce her into allowing him to sleep in her bed but she\d hate him in the morning. She\d made up her mind not to see him secretly anymore.
’’Damn!’’ He snarled, closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall.
He wanted her, needed to be with Jessie as much as his next breath, but his people would suffer. She would suffer. He\d dealt with the hate groups and the press for far too long to be naive about how it would unfold. Reporters would run with the story, it would be worldwide news that Justice North was dating a human and there would be hell to pay.
Her image would be plastered on every newspaper and news station. They\d dig into her past, leaving no stone unturned to rip her life apart and offer it for public consumption. She\d then become a target of anyone who believed it was vile for a human to sleep with a Species, be labeled horrible names by them and some lunatics would wish her dead. She\d grow to hate him for the chaos her life became.
The senator would possibly lose his position or worse, keep it to rally against the NSO if he were upset his daughter had preferred a Species male over a human one. The support they still received from Washington would dry up. Money was coming in from the lawsuits against Mercile Industries but it was slow going and it might be years before they were a hundred-percent financially solvent. Their government contacts had assigned the human task force to help them recover captive Species and gave them access to track all the corporate financial records of the pharmaceutical company\s investors.
Species would die, never to be found, wherever they were being held if they lost the task-force teams. The Mercile employees who had avoided arrest would never be brought to justice if the teams stopped hunting them down. It would be a disaster, lives would be lost and he\d sworn to do everything he could for his people. Loving Jessie risked all that.
His knees buckled and he slid down the wall until he sat on the floor. He\d thought surviving the years in the testing facility would be the most painful heartache he ever suffered. He\d had no hope, no future to look forward to, but now he\d had something wonderful.
The loss of happiness left a bitter taste in his mouth. He just couldn\ keep Jessie. It would cost too much and the price wouldn\ just be his to pay. He\d die for her but it wasn\ just his life on the line.
Her father might accept you , his inner voice whispered. It might not be so bad. You could have her and keep the task teams. She might not care what happens in the outside world if she\s here where the ugliness can\ touch her. His eyes opened and he stared at the wall across the room. It was a risk, a huge one and he just couldn\ take the chance. Not for his people and definitely not with Jessie\s life.
Pain ripped through his heart and he knew it was best if he didn\ take the chance.
He\d rather lose Jessie than have her hate him when everything around her was touched by the ugliness the outside world could become. He\d rather she hurt a little than watch her suffer through losing all she held dear. He bent his knee, rested his arm there and dropped his forehead against it. He refused to allow the tears that filled his eyes to fall.
He\d found love but he couldn\ have her. It had to be enough to watch her from afar, his only comfort.
Justice slammed his fist on the desk and glared at the phone he\d just hung up.
Some new hate church had taken to the airwaves to rant about how New Species were animals, not people, and referred to the NSO as nothing more than a private zoo. It made his blood boil.